Motivation Quotes and Inspiration Sayings

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day
~funny sayings about cute by Mickey Rooney

Once there was a blonde who wanted to make money. So she grabbed her microwave and decided to sell it to a man who also sells microwaves. When she walked in she asked “hi. I would like to sell you my microwave.” the owner shook his head. “no i will not buy it.” The blonde left in shock and then thought that the owner was doing that because she was a blonde. So she went back in the next day with a brunette wig on. “Sir,” she said, “I would like to sell my microwave.” The man shook his head. “Not you blonde again! I said no.” The Blonde gasped “How did you know it was me?” The owner sighed, “Because, u dumb blonde, that is not a microwave. Its a tv.”
~humorous quotes about Dumb Blondes by

Is man one of God’s blunders or is God one of man’s blunders?
~funny sayings about cute by Friedrich Nietzsche

I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
~humorous quotes about Degree Jokes by Erma Bombeck

I used up all my sick days, so I’m calling in dead.
~funny sayings about cute by Funny Guy

No BLOOD no foul.
~humorous quotes about Foul Jokes by

A couple drove down a country road for
several
miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an
argument
and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed
a
barnyard of mules, jack asses, and pigs, the husband asked
sarcastically,
“Relatives of yours?” “Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”
~funny sayings about cute by FINALLY

Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children
~humorous quotes about Parents quotes by Samuel Butler

My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.
~funny sayings about cute by Rita Rudner

Bills travel through the mail twice the speed of checks.
~humorous quotes about Funny Wisdom by Funny Guy

The truth is out there? Does anyone know the URL?
~funny sayings about cute by Funny Guy

You know the expression, “Don’t quit your day job?” Well what do you say to
~humorous quotes about Funny Questions by Funny Guy

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney…
~funny sayings about cute by Steven Wright

Why do psychics have to ask for your name?
~humorous quotes about Funny Questions by Funny Guy

If I were asked to enumerate ten educational stupidities, the giving of grades would head the list… If I can’t give a child a better reason for studying than a grade on a report card, I ought to lock my desk and go home and stay there.–Dorothy De Zouche
~funny sayings about cute by Funny Guy

I just got dumped, and I think that you could make me feel better.
~humorous sayings about cute by

If you were a library book, I would check you out.
~funny quotes about Pickup Lines by

I saw you, I had an asthma attack because you took my breath away!
~humorous sayings about cute by

If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
~funny quotes about Cute Quotes by

Someday your prince will come. Mine got lost took a wrong turn and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
~humorous sayings about cute by

Hershey’s makes millions of kisses a day…all I’m asking for is one
~funny quotes about Pickup Lines by

Was you Father an Alien? Cos honey on planet earth there’s nothing else like you!
~humorous sayings about cute by

I didn’t know that Miss America lived here!
~funny quotes about Pickup Lines by

You get all this and my dads loaded.
~humorous sayings about cute by

Be nice society already sucks.
~funny quotes about Cool Quotes by

Do you have a Bandaid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.
~humorous sayings about cute by

Change is good…you go first!
~funny quotes about Cool Quotes by

Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together.
~humorous sayings about cute by

Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 MPH Are Also Timed For 70 MPH.
~funny quotes about Cool Sayings by

Excuse me, but I may be lost… Can you give me directions to wherever you’re going?
~humorous sayings about cute by
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